Ah, those harebrained memes...

Thanks to Esau for helping smooth away the last of the work week with this meme!


FOODOLOGY

Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. Annie's Shiitake & Sesame

Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A. Naan Stop in Isla Vista

Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A. Blue Bayou at Disneyland!

Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. 20ish%. Or $2 per person (since we eat lots of cheap food)

Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick off of?
A. Seiten! (Ask me again in two weeks...)

Q. What is your favorite type of gum?
A. Whatever is minty and on sale.

TECHNOLOGY

Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A. The man in his '60 Cadillac hearse

Q. How many televisions are in your house?
A. Maybe a dozen, but only one works. Maybe we'll make the others into solar ovens...

BIOLOGY

Q. What’s your best feature?
A. My high pain tolerance.

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. A HUMAN! Princess Whackamole!

Q. Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
A. Hearing. For example, those voices... hear them?

Q. When was the last time you had a cavity?
A. Two years ago.

Q. What is the heaviest item you lifted last?
A. A washing machine (with help, of course)

Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. Probably. Does anesthesia count? If so, definitely.

BULLSHITOLOGY

Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. Absolutely. I hate suspense.

Q. Is love for real?
A. Yep.

Q. If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
A. Change, from Queen? I don't think so!

Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. Blue.

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. Yes. Sometimes not by mistake, too.

Q. Have you ever saved someone’s life?
A. I like to think so. I've certainly saved a lot of animals.

Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A. Yes. And a lot of times, animals have saved me back.

DAREOLOGY

Q. Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
A. Sure!

Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. Can I spend some of the $100 on beer first?

Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
A. No way.

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. Sure... I could outsource my blogging for cheap and come out way ahead.

Q. Would you pose nude in a magazine for $250,000?
A. No. I have a fear of being doodled on. If you know what I mean.

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000?
A. Sure! Unless it's all at once... again can I spend some of the $1,000 on beer first?

Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
A. Do I get to choose which one? Like with lobsters?

Q. Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
A. No problem.

Q. Give up MySpace forever for $30,000?
A. No problem. Damn... I'm going to be soooo rich!!!

DUMBOLOGY

Q: What is in your left pocket?
A. Nothin.

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A. I can't endorse anything that promotes throwing steak at llamas.

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A. Some of both right now.

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A. Stand (ditto Esau's question)

Q: Could you live with roommates?
A. Hey! Offer me lots of money or I don't answer.

Q: How many pairs of flip-flops do you own?
A. Two.

Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A. I can't remember... I nodded at a sheriff on my way into Blenders on Wednesday...

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A. Empress Whackamole.

LASTOLOGY

Q: Friend you talked to?
A. The distinguished gentleman from Big Table.

Q: Last person you called?
A. My man.

RANDOMOLOGY

Q: First place you went this morning?
A. Patio door to release the hounds.

Q: What can you not wait to do?
A. Happy Hour!!!!

Q: What’s the last movie you saw?
A. Bogart Beat the Devil

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A. Didn't I ask for a beer a few questions back? Where the heck is my beer???

Okay, I tag Noelle Aguayo, Big Table, and Flexible "It's been almost exactly a year since I last blogged" Planet. Happy Friday!